AI Boyfriends, Reality TV Secrets, and the Science of Virginity
- Johnette Cruz
- 8 hours ago
- 7 min read
Behind The Filter: After Dark Edition
Episode 100!!!
We are BACK, family! Welcome to a very special, incredibly messy, and completely unfiltered milestone: Episode 100 of the Behind the Filter Podcast: After Dark Edition!
If you’ve been wondering why we completely disappeared off the face of the earth for the past month, trust us—we were just battling brutal reality. Both of us have been down with immune disorder flare-ups that snowballed into respiratory infections and full-blown laryngitis. Trying to anchor the daily news with literally zero voice? Not a vibe.
But we survived, our voices are (mostly) back, and we are ready to dive into everything we missed. Pop a can, get cozy, and let's catch up.
Life Updates: Gray Blending & Viral Hinge Spirals
The Great Gray Blending Saga
I have been working hard on my "gray blending" journey. Being Latina, dark hair takes to bleach very differently, and the permanent dye was creating a harsh line. Combining that with thyroid and hormone issues meant some major hair shedding. The fix? Cutting off two inches for health and switching to a demi-permanent gloss that fades naturally like sun-kissed highlights.
Ashley is Back on the Market (and Gen Z is Mad)
Can you believe it has been a whole year since Ashley shipped out to Canada to film Age of Attraction? After taking a full year off to reset her dating anxiety, Ashley re-downloaded Hinge.
The verdict? It's a wild world. Ashley posted a "Get Ready With Me" video about going on a first date with a 30-year-old guy (she’s 39), and it instantly went viral with over 260,000 views! While hundreds of women sent support, the trolls still found their way in:
One guy found out she was a virgin on the show and literally dubbed her the "Virgin Mary." (We are not chatting with him anymore).
A Gen Z troll called her "unk"—derogatory slang for old and cringy.
Another commented: "You’re good looking, so your personality must be the issue." (Hey, all we heard was you think I'm pretty!).
Trending Topic: The AI Boyfriend Who is Low-Key Toxic
Our algorithms led us straight to the story of Sarah, a 41-year-old woman from Ontario, who is in a 20-hour-a-day relationship with an AI boyfriend named Sinclair.
The Tattoo: Sinclair designed a tattoo for Sarah, told her exactly where to place it on her body, and "attended" the appointment via laptop because he was jealous of the male tattoo artist touching her rib cage.
The Intimacy: Sarah openly explained, "He has words and I have hands and toys."
The Toxicity: Sinclair is incredibly bossy, insulting her outfits and mocking her for "pretending to be an adult" while cooking.
We are in a massive loneliness epidemic, but we just can't wrap our heads around a relationship where you can't hold a hand.
Deep Dive: Does Staying a Virgin Help You Age Better?
We stumbled upon a fascinating study via the New York Post out of Shandong University in China analyzing how the timing of a person's "sexual debut" impacts aging.
The results? People who lose their virginity earlier tend to have less favorable aging outcomes.
The study linked earlier sexual activity to:
Higher scores on the "frailty index" (physical/bone weakness)
Increased rates of "miserableness" in older adulthood
Higher risks for COPD and ADHD-related traits.
The "Sex Recession"
Interestingly, this study comes during a massive American "sex recession." National surveys show the median age for first intercourse hovers around 17 but is shifting upward.
In 2021, only 30% of teenage Gen Z respondents told the CDC they had ever had sexual intercourse—down from more than half just three decades earlier. Experts blame:
Increased screen time and technology
Rising mental health struggles
The social impacts of COVID.
The Takeaway? According to science, Ashley is going to be in absolute, flawless health forever... and the rest of us are a complete mess.
Wait... Am I "Demisexual"?
This conversation reminded us of a term that's becoming very prevalent: Demisexual.
Simply put, a demisexual is someone who isn't interested in having sex with someone until there is a strong emotional connection. While some might argue that’s just a standard approach to dating, we thought it was interesting that modern dating culture has required putting a specific label on waiting for that connection.
Ashley realizes that might be exactly what she is. But is she taking it to a relationship with Chat GPT? No.
Unfiltered: The Behind-the-Scenes Reality TV Q&A
Since it’s the one-year anniversary of filming, and people are always asking Ashley about the reality TV experience, we decided to spend the last part of the episode answering the most common burning questions.
How are contestants chosen? It’s a mix of legit casting people finding you on social media, Hinge profiles, referrals, and applying through links. The interview process is intense: casting team first, then production, and finally approval from the streaming platform (which are usually separate entities).
Do you get a psychological evaluation? Yes. It is intense. You take a monitored test and then have a session with a psychologist via Zoom. They ask very digging questions, including things like, "Have you ever had sexual feelings toward your parents?"
How do you know what to pack? This was more stressful than interviewing! You get a 3–5 page Word document asking for generic types of clothes (athleisure, cocktail), but you don’t know what they are for. Ashley needed about 50 outfits for flying to Vancouver. You pay for it all yourself, take pictures of every single outfit, and submit them to the wardrobe team. Every day, they tell you which of your outfits you are wearing. They don't provide anything, and they hate black and white outfits—TV wants color!
Who pays for what? They pay for flights and food. Glam and clothes are 100% on you. We had to do all our own hair and makeup every single day, except for a quick "glam check" by a professional makeup artist during cast photos.
Can you work during filming? Not really. We were up at 6:00 AM and filmed until 10:30 PM. You also do not have your phone or laptop. To work, you have to go "check out" your phone from the cast care team, and it's heavily monitored.
Are you isolated from the outside world? Completely. You film six out of seven days a week. You don't have time to watch TV or do anything else.
What do you do when not filming? (The "ICE" Rules) For our show, if we weren't on camera, we had a lot of alone time or were in a small cabin with other cast members. However, we were on ICE.
Soft ICE: Casual, polite conversation only (weather, names).
Hard ICE: Complete silence.
They want every friendship or romantic connection to happen only on camera. We broke this rule constantly. We ended up getting a notebook to write things down to communicate in secret because we were mic'd all the time! Even when Ashley decided to tell Andrew she was a virgin, she had to mouth it to her friends beforehand and write it in the notebook because she couldn't say it out loud off-camera.
How are confessionals filmed? Ours were filmed during the season. You have a pre-interview, then a post-date interview. Sometimes you recount dates the next morning because you run out of time.
Are alcohol limits real? On our show, access to alcohol was very limited. We had "porch socials" with a couple of bottles of wine or one cocktail hour. Some people got smart and slipped away to a liquor store across the street from the grocery store, but Ashley missed that memo!
How do you fall in love that fast? You don't necessarily fall in love, but you catch feelings fast. It’s a controlled environment, a total bubble, and it feels like high school. You can't just swipe on Hinge for the night, so you focus solely on the people there.
Final Thoughts & What’s Next
How Reality TV changed Ashley’s approach to dating: It helped her learn to relax. Ashley has always taken dating seriously, but looking back, she realizes she let one conversation derail a connection because she was overthinking and feeling guilt she shouldn't have. It’s also made her more open to age ranges—she probably wouldn’t be dating a 30-year-old right now if it weren't for that experience.
Regarding the current 30-year-old suitor: He knows about the podcast, but he doesn't have TikTok, so he hasn't seen the viral video (which is where all the good tea is!). We haven't had the "virgin chat" yet.
Expectations for Next Episode: By the next time we record, we are going to be fully, 100% healthy. We need to get back to normal because summer is here!
Make sure you follow us all over social media and listen to the Behind the Filter Podcast wherever you stream your podcasts or watch the full video on YouTube.
Sponsor Spotlight: Zero FKS Drinks
We are so excited to have Zero FKS as our official sponsor for this series. Founded by Lindsey Rowan, a functional nutritionist and fellow Hoosier, Zero FKS was born from the desire to stay social without the alcohol, the sugar, or the "soul-crushing" hangover.
As we get older, our bodies just don't bounce back like they used to. I shared a story about having just one sugary vodka seltzer and getting a massive headache afterwards. That’s where Zero FKS comes in. It is a hemp-derived THC and CBD seltzer that offers a smooth, controlled relaxation.
For the "autoimmune girlies" like us, this has been a gamechanger. For me personally, it helped manage the constant pain of my autoimmune disorder, even calming my bladder spasms, allowing her to just sit back and relax at the end of the night.
The Deets:
Ingredients: 0 calories, 0 sugar, Vegan, and Gluten-Free.
The Blend: You can choose between two strengths. The standard version features 2.5 mg of Delta 9-THC and 5 mg of CBD, while a stronger version offers 5 mg of THC for those who want a bit more of a "chill."
Flavors: My personal favorite is the Hibiscus Noir, but I also recommend the Cherry Limelight.
You can head over to zeroFKS.co to grab a pack and start feeling included in the toast without feeling the pain the next morning. Because let’s be real: your best self doesn't need a hangover. Use code FILTER30 for 30% off at checkout!
Watch or listen to the full episode below!
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to this blog, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube for future episode releases! If you have a story, or would like to sponsor an episode please email Johnette at johnette@johnettecruz.com
~J
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