No Matter What: Faith, Netflix and Finding My Voice
- Johnette Cruz
- Mar 19
- 3 min read
Behind The Filter Podcast: After Dark Edition
From Netflix to TMZ: Ashley’s Unfiltered Journey on "Age of Attraction"
In the latest episode of Behind The Filter: After Dark, the tables have turned. Usually, we are side-by-side as co-hosts, but this time, I am putting on my professional news anchor hat to interview her best friend about a whirlwind year of secrets, reality TV, and a viral moment that no one saw coming.
For the past year, Ashley has had to keep a massive secret: she was casted on the new Netflix dating series, Age of Attraction. But the story didn't end with a "final rose" or a televised wedding. Instead, it began with a cut storyline and a TikTok video that set the internet on fire.
The Secret Season: Life Under Wraps
For twelve months, Ashley moved through life unable to speak about her experience. I, witnessed this entire journey from the inner circle, and this past week has been nothing short of a "complete whirlwind." This podcast episode serves as a "safe space" to share the depths of the story that the cameras missed.
The Viral Truth: "Ashley the Virgin" Returns
When Age of Attraction finally premiered, Ashley sat on a flight, downloaded the episodes, and waited to see her story unfold. The reality was a shock: her storyline had been almost entirely cut, reduced to a mere three-second introduction.
"I went there for love and I didn't find it. Then I thought, okay God, I get a chance to tell my story... and it didn't get told. I felt like I bared my soul for nothing." — Ashley
Instead of shrinking back, Ashley took to TikTok to tell her own story. She revealed a deeply personal boundary that she hadn't even shared on the podcast yet: She is a 39-year-old virgin waiting for marriage.
The response was instantaneous. By Sunday morning, Ashley woke up to find herself headlined on TMZ, Us Weekly, and The Daily Mail. The "38-year-old virgin cut from Netflix" became a global talking point.
Dating in Your 30s: Deal Breakers and "The Bomb"
We dived deep into the anxieties of dating in your late 30s. Ashley discusses the "nerve-wracking" decision of when to tell a man about her vow of celibacy.
The 20s vs. The 30s: In her 20s, men assumed she’d change her mind. In her 30s, the conversation carries more weight.
The "Text" Strategy: To avoid the "awkward face-to-face bomb," Ashley now often shares her status via text or call after the second date, allowing men the space to process or walk away before hearts get too involved.
I correlated this to my own "scary conversation" when dating after divorce: disclosing my immune disorder and the fact that I cannot have more children. We both highlighted a powerful truth—dating at this stage requires navigating heavy, high-stakes expectations.
The "No Matter What" Moment
One of the most moving segments of the episode focuses on Ashley's relationship with her faith. She admits to being "mad at God" during her mid-30s, questioning why her obedience hadn't yet been "rewarded" with a husband and family.
However, a breaking point occurred while painting her closet shortly before the Netflix opportunity arrived. Ashley described her "No matter what" prayer:
"No matter what, I’m going to love You. No matter what, I’m going to serve You. No matter what, I’m going to trust You."
What Really Happened on Set?
Ashley gives listeners a peek behind the curtain of reality TV production:
The Promise Room: Ashley reveals the pressure of the "Promise Room" and her refusal to enter it with anyone who didn't fully understand her story.
The Hiking Date: She shares details of a non-televised hiking date where she felt a deep, intimate connection after disclosing her virginity to a suitor who reacted with incredible character and support.
The Coffee Shop Conflict: Ashley reflects on a missed opportunity to tell a second suitor her truth because of the lack of privacy on a "coffee shop date," a move she feels ultimately confused her feelings and influenced her final choice.
Why "Age of Attraction" Still Matters
Despite the heartbreak and the editing, Ashley has no regrets. The show pushed her to own her truth and has created a community of women—from their 30s to their 50s—who finally feel seen.
What’s Next?
This is just the beginning of the Age of Attraction series on Behind The Filter: After Dark. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we bring on more cast members, spill more "piping hot tea," and go deeper into what happens when the filters come off.
Watch or listen to the full episode below!
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to this blog, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube for future episode releases! If you have a story, or would like to sponsor an episode please email Johnette at johnette@johnettecruz.com
~J
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