Spilling Reality Tea at 3UP
- Johnette Cruz
- 18 hours ago
- 4 min read
Behind The Filter Podcast: After Dark Edition
Sprints, Sips, and Self-Discovery: After Dark at 3UP with Erin from "Age of Attraction"
The podcast hit the road again and this time we took Behind the Filter: After Dark Edition to one of our absolute favorite local spots: 3UP Rooftop Bar in Carmel, Indiana. Between the 10-out-of-10 presentation of the gluten-free charcuterie and the stunning rooftop views, the energy was high—but the conversation got even higher once special guest Erin from Age of Attraction joined the table.
Fresh off a four-hour-and-47-minute drive (navigating roughly 27 Indiana roundabouts along the way), Erin sat down to dish on reality TV, dating over 50, and the radical, necessary act of being yourself.
The Road to Reality TV: A Deal with the Universe
How does a mother to a 152-month-old (okay, he's 30) end up on a reality dating show? According to Erin, it was a literal answer to a prayer after feeling bored with her routine.
"I had a little conversation with a higher power," Erin shared. "I said, 'I’m bored and I still don’t have the love of my life... can we strike a deal? I make no effort, and you deliver this opportunity to my door.'"
The very next day, fellow cast member (and now close friend) Teresa reached out about auditions. Following a grueling casting process that lasted from February to April, Erin landed a spot on the show that would eventually help her reclaim her "sparkle."
Behind the Scenes: Unseen Cameras and "Trauma Bonds"
Erin and Ashley pulled back the curtain on what viewers didn't see on screen, painting a picture of an intense, often exhausting filming environment:
The Infamous Bus Ride: A two-hour ride to a wine tasting featured six bright, lit-up cameras recording every second, yet none of that footage made the final cut.
The "Trauma Bond": The women joked that the cast shares a unique, unbreakable bond because so few people (roughly less than 1% of the population) ever experience the unique pressure of reality TV filming.
Objective Dating: Ashley reminded listeners that, despite viewer complaints on social media, the contestants didn't initially know each other's ages. They were meeting and reacting objectively to looks and energy, not numbers.
"Toning it Down": Reclaiming the Sparkle
At 53, Erin reflected on the common pressure women face to minimize themselves for a partner’s comfort. While her on-screen connection with Tristan (27) was fizzling (mostly due to him not "reading the room" during a requested kiss), the experience highlighted a bigger issue Erin has faced in past relationships.
She revealed that two different men in her past had told her, "'You gotta tone down the comedy. It’s not attractive.'" For years, she listened, dimming her own light to avoid being "too much."
"If someone said that today, I would really walk away," Erin stated. "But at the time, I didn't have the self-confidence."
Ashley resonated deeply with this, noting how women are frequently critiqued for being "too much"—too loud, too opinionated, or too passionate. Both agreed that the filming experience actually helped them realize that if you're too much for them, they aren't the right match for you.
The "Breakup of 2023" and Finding True Love (With Yourself)
Erin traces her renewed confidence back to the "Breakup of 2023." It was a relationship with another controlling partner who asked her to "tone it down." Realizing she was repeating a damaging pattern (driven in part by a strong biological clock that had been ticking loudly since she was 21), she ended it after 10 months.
It was during therapy after this split that her therapist, Amy, dropped the ultimate "mic drop" moment with a single question:
"What if at the end of your life... the story goes that you did not find the love of your life, but you found yourself? What if that is the story?"
"I'm okay now. That was the key I needed," Erin said, explaining how that perspective shift changed everything, allowing her to prioritize her authentic self over the desperate search for a partner.
The Dichotomy of the Modern Woman
This search for self-acceptance stood in stark contrast to the earlier, hilarious conversation about the fundamental differences between men and women in the dating world.
Erin asked pointedly, "Are there any men, any men anywhere who would have said exactly what you said? Who would say, 'I just tried to like morph myself into what other people wanted?'" The consensus was a resounding "no." Instead, the group joked, men get to be authentic—scratching and burping—while expecting a warm welcome in the bedroom.
"And we're trying to be all coy and make sure our eyelashes are curled in the morning when we wake up!" Erin laughed, referencing the Kristen Wiig scene in Bridesmaids.
What’s Next On: "After Dark"
As the night wrapped up at 3UP, the announcement of new things on the horizon kept the energy high:
SPONSOR DEEP DIVE: Mike Johnston, General Manager of 3UP, also joined the podcast to discuss the venue's recent accolades (voted #1 rooftop lounge in Indiana by Yahoo!) and its bustling schedule. The rooptop features music on the weekends, with DJs spinning on Fridays and Saturdays from 6:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.
Derby Party & New Cocktails: The rooptop is gearing up for a major Kentucky Derby Party on May 2nd, which will include best-dressed contests and Eventbrite tickets available for $50 (with couch reservations also available). Furthermore, the 3UP staff is currently curating a brand-new, in-house cocktail menu set for a middle-of-May unveil, which will likely feature spring trends like spritzes.
After Dark is officially partnering with ZERO FKS, a CBD/THC-infused beverage brand with no added sugar. This brand will sponsor an upcoming Age of Attraction series, where Ashley promised to finally reveal unnamed connections and long-held "juice" that viewers are desperate to hear.
Watch or listen to the full episode below!
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to this blog, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube for future episode releases! If you have a story, or would like to sponsor an episode please email Johnette at johnette@johnettecruz.com
~J
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